Showers
by baka coconut
Summary: Awkward moments. Hilarity. L/Light if you squint.
1. Discoveries

Well, this is a humor story. My first ever, at that. I was in the shower one day and said to myself "How awkward must that have been for L and Light…" and several scenarios popped into my head as my imagination and iPod ran away to elope together. This is the result! For now, no music is involved, but soon. Hee……

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Light looked at L.

L looked at Light.

They both looked at the bathroom door.

One with boredom.

One with panic.

PANIC.

"L….aren't you going to uncuff us?" Amber eyes turned onto deep black as the panic in Light's stomach was just itching to come up his throat to make him scream… and maybe throw up.

"No." A pale hand reached towards the door knob, the silver cuff around it making the chain between the two boys jingle.

"….Why not? We're going to shower now, right?" That same pale face turned once again to face a much tanner one.

"Yes, Raito-kun, we are going to shower. _We_. I cannot remove the handcuffs for extended periods of time. You are lucky I take it off long enough for you to remove your shirt." They both stood there, still exchanging glares.

One gave off that "Are you stupid?" look.

The other gave off that "Fuck no! You've got to be kidding me!" look.

This is the reason Light had forced himself to go three days without showering.

This right here.

The ghostly hand finally opened the door to the bathroom that Light had so far resolutely abstained from using. Light looked inside with fear in his heart.

And sighed.

At least there would be heavily frosted glass between them.

"Couldn't you have just build a wall between the two stalls?" A click and the cuff came off, telling Light it was time to get naked.

"No, I still need to be able to see you to some degree." Another click and Light's mouth fell open with the cuff.

L would still be _staring_ at him….

While he _showered_?!

"And no Raito-kun, I will not be staring." Light glanced over to the dark-haired man next to him with wide eyes. Wide enough to almost be a match.

"….Good." With that, he started removing his shirt as L began turning the water in both stalls on, warming them up.

"Unless…" A faint, mischievous voice came out over the sound of rushing water.

"Light wants me to stare?"

….._WHAT?!_

With a furious blush on his cheeks, Light viciously threw his shirt to the ground. Not only had L just said something_ completely_ invasive, he used the English pronunciation of his name_ and_ chopped of the honorific. It was humiliating! It also didn't deserve any sort of response, so light simply stood there until L finally stripped himself of his own shirt.

Light couldn't help but stare.

His chest was far more masculine than Light thought. His stomach was even more muscled and lean than he had ever believed was possible for a roughly 110 pound, 5 foot 8 man.

Wait……

"L….are you….Taller than me?" The man in question turned, going from simply standing up straight to towering at his full height. He looked Light up and down with a smirk.

"Yes…I suppose I am. Roughly by three inches." His smirk broadened at Light's obvious displeasure at this news. So, L was actually 5'll".Light never liked being inferior in any way, even in height. So now, L was older, taller, and skinnier than Light. Great.

In his frustration, Light began to undo his pants, letting the comfortable fabric slide down his legs with his boxers. He was determined to get this shower business done with as soon as possible.

"Well, at least we're the same in everything else." He opened the frosted glass door that lead into the shower stall he deemed would be his, and he paused, still watching the detective.

Watching L as his smirk widened.

Watching L as his eyes traveled down Light's body.

Light's naked body.

His smirk was at it's peak as he too opened the door to his shower.

"Well, not quite everything, Raito-kun."

………….

And Light stayed frozen to that spot for a long, long time.

L had the brains to take his pants off _after_ he was behind the door.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hee! Chapter one done, I hope you all liked it! It was a little dull to begin with, but hopefully the end was rewarding. Ha! Light is inferior to L in ALL WAYS!! We all know who would be seme if this ever turned into a yaoi fic now, yes? Bwahahahahahha…anyway, please read and review, the coming chapters will be even funnier, I promise.


	2. Twenty Questions

Chapter two! I was overloaded with ideas, so I wrote this right after I wrote the last chapter. Hope you all enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ryuuzaki, how many languages can you speak?" L put his blurred finger on his bottom lip, pondering.

"**Why would you need like to know, Light?**" English

"**I was wondering if I could keep up.**"

"**Ok then.** ¿Sabe usted hablar español?"

"Ci."

"Parlez vous français?"

"Oui, monsieur."

"Wie über Deutschen?"

"Ja. Mag ich wirklich schnitzel." Light saw the dark line of L's lips lift at his statement. Light didn't seem like the kind to enjoy schnitzel.

"Voi gradiscono gli spaghetti?" Oops, now Light had done it, he'd gotten onto the food subject with L. Spaghetti was a strange thing for L to ask about though. He thought for sure that L would default to a sweet.

"Sì. Voi gradiscono tutti i dolci italiani?"

"Нет, но я любим русский шоколад" Light blinked. The hell was that? He heard a chuckle

"Så förstår du inte ryss?" Ah, Russian. That strange gargle that came out of L's mouth was Russian. Sweedish was only a little easier to follow.

"아니오, 당신은 무엇을 말했는가?＂

"我說我喜歡俄國巧克力。我也喜歡中國留連果冰淇凌"

"τα παραδοσιακά κινέζικα; Δεν σκέφτηκα ότι είχατε μελετήσει τη γλώσσα αυτή σκληρά"

"Επιδεικνύω ακριβώς" Light smiled at this. L apparently did have a sense of humor.

"**Alright, I'm out of languages. Anything special you'd like to add?"** Light watched as two huge black spots appeared on L's head. He was looking at him.

"**I know at least twenty-three more languages, and various ways to speak in English.**"

Light smiled at the British accent.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Translation: **Can you speak Spanish, yes, Do you speak French, yes sir, How about german, Yes and I actually like schnitzel, Do you like spaghetti, Yes do you like any Italian sweets, no, but I like Russian chocolate, So you don't understand Russian, No what did you say, I said I liked Russian Chocolate I also like chinese Durian ice cream, traditional chinese I didn't think you had studied language that hard, I'm just showing off.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Raito-kun, why don't you ever shave?" Light looked curiously to his right, seeing the questioning blurred white figure through frosted glass.

"Well, I just don't really grow much hair. What about you?" he scrubbed shampoo into his auburn locks.

"I do not consume proper food, and therefore my body cannot waste energy on growing hair, producing oil, or creating pimples. It only uses energy on things that are vital to my survival, such a breathing." The pale man ran his blue loofa over his arms, scrubbing just a bit too hard.

"….So eating only sugar could actually give you good skin?"

"Yes. However, usually one cannot survive on my diet. I have had years of experience."

"……………." Light continued to scrub his head, pondering this information. He had spent years himself trying to get perfect skin and hair, wasting money on products he wouldn't need after puberty, and here was L with perfect complexion just because he ate all the things that were supposed to be _bad_ for it. His hair wasn't greasy either.

A thought stuck him then.

"L, if your body doesn't have the energy to produce body hair, how do you still have hair on your head.?"

Through the glass, he saw L turn to him.

"My body has deemed my signature hairstyle to be vital to my survival."

Light couldn't help but crack up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so ends the second installment! I didn't want to make separate chapters for the language thing and the hair thing, so I just squished them together. I'm writing on a whim right now. I hope you enjoyed, special thanks to world for being my translating engine! Seriously, the only one I did myself was the French. Three years of French class man! Anyway, please review! See you again! The next chapter will be hilarious.


	3. L's iPod

-1And chapter three, the one I've been excited about! L breaks out his iPod! By the way, have patience with this, I want to make it cute in the beginning.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Raito-kun, I have decided that I would like entertainment for this session of showering,, and have therefore prepared a stereo, along with my iPod. I hope you do not find my taste in music to be irritating."

They were once again in mid-strip as L started talking. Raito turned to him, quirking an eyebrow as he did so. L had a taste in music?

"When do you normally listen to music?"

"When you're asleep. It is the only time Only then can allow my sense of hearing to be dedicated to anything other than you." He picked up a small white remote, about the size of half a finger, and walked into his shower. He still took his pants off after he was in.

Light now had the sense to do the same.

He stepped inside, body just out of the range of the falling spray. As he de-panted himself, a harsh guitar chord started cutting through the humid air.

"_She said don't! Don't let it go to your head. Boys like you are a dime a dozen, boys like you are a dime a dozen!"_

A sort of raspy voice, but a melodic one, joined in. Raito was slightly intrigued. So, L liked rock. He glanced over to the boy next to him, listening hard. Yes, he could just barely make out a deep voice. It was flat, dull, but in tune. Raito was impressed that someone could be all three at once.

"_Maybe I should hate you for this, never really did ever quite get that…"_

L was scrubbing his head softly, light pink bubbles foaming up on his crown. Dark circles appeared through the glass. Raito looked away. It was still embarrassing to be looked at naked, even if you can't really see anything.

"_I'd never lie to you. Unless I had to I'd do what I got to, unless I had to I'd do what I got to. The truth-"_

L put his hand on the glass between them, drawing Raito's eyes back. Their blurred irises met as L's finger's curled into the frosted barrier.

"_Is you could slit my throat, and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt."_

Raito's eyes widened a bit. Emotion had shown through in L's voice. Honesty, intensity. Light was faced yet again with the side of L's face as he turned away again to scrub at his unruly locks. Raito pondered about the song as it continued on towards it's ending. L was strange. This song was about love and how much the subjects hated each other, they really didn't have a choice about their feelings.

Was L….

Relating that to themselves?

Raito blushed at the thought. He could have simply played the song because of that one part. Just to let Raito know that he was honest with him. That must be all.

Almost silence filled the bathroom for a few seconds, running water being the only sound. Until a soft piano stuttered into existence, softly covering the bathroom.

"_You are my sweetest downfall. I loved you first, I loved you first" _

A woman's voice this time. It was again, sort of raspy, and it didn't take too well to the high notes. It was strangely pleasant though,, and Raito found himself focusing intently on it as he rubbed conditioner into his sunset hair. He heard L singing an octave lower. Light smiled at the thought of L singing in a woman's range. He actually chuckled at the thought of L's falsetto. It would be breathy and childish, and insanely funny.

"_Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads But they're just old light, they're just old light" _

L tilted his head towards light's direction, then, a smirk on his face.

"Raito-kun, when you are old, will you become a star?" Light just shook his head. L could be a retarded romantic sometimes.

…A romantic….

L turned back to sing again.

"_Your hair was long when we first met. Samson came to my bed, told me that my hair was red. Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed. Oh I cut his hair myself one night, a pair of dull scissors in the yellow light, and he told me that I'd done alright and kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light and he kissed me 'til the mornin' light"_

Raito shifted a little uncomfortably at this. He had redish hair. Perhaps this song was meant for Raito to see himself as the main character, and for L to be this Samson? Come to think of it, L's hair was longer in the beginning….

……

This was getting really weird, really fast.

The song came to a close, with another round of "I loved you first", except this time more sad. More lonely. L's head was down.

And then the next song started.

It started out with a faraway sort of sound, like a poorly tuned radio. The a synthesized sort of tone came through. It cleared up, gaining a beat.

"_Work it. Make it. Do it. Makes us. Harder, better, faster, stronger."_

Techno? It was strange, but it weirdly enough fit L. He used synthesizers enough himself to make his own goddamn techno song. Raito looked towards L again.

………….

And was _mortified._

L

Was

Dancing

…………………….

_Dancing_

…………………………..

_FRIGGIN DANCING!_

His hips swayed with the beat, his right foot keeping tempo.

IT WAS DISTURBING.

His hands were moving sensually through his hair too, washing the remnants of his conditioner with great style. Raito, in mid-loofa action, was frozen, mouth agape.

L, the greatest detective(s) in the world, was singing, dancing, and _naked_ not two feet from him.

Raito stayed stuck in his spot, watching L in horrified interest, until the song finally stopped.

He promptly stepped out of the shower, nakedness be damned, and disconnected the iPod from it's speaker.

"Raito-kun, I was enjoying that."

"_Never again."_

Raito quickly covered himself with a towel as l stepped out of the shower, already clothed from the hips down, smirking lightly.

"_And never again, and never again, they gave us two shots to the back of the head and we're all, dead now."_

"_It would be nice, _IF YOU WOULD SHUT THE HELL UP!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I threw in fluff at the beginning! These were songs that made me think of L and Light, because I do that. There's seriously tons of songs that I thought of, but I didn't just want to stick a big chapter of song lyrics up here, so I only used three. These three were Bike scene, from Taking Back Sunday, Samson from Regina Spektor, and Harder, better, faster, stronger from Daft Punk. L's last quote was My Chemical romance's demolition lovers, and Light's was actually from the Mark Tom and Travis Show (Blink 182's live cd). The real words are "it would be nice, to have a blow job!" XD L's reaction to that would be funny. Also, On My Own by The Used, and Hikari (Simple and Clean) from Utada Hikaru make me think of L/light a lot.

Thankyou for reading!


	4. In awkward moments

-1Chapter 4! Whootness! This one made me giggle.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The goddamn _fucking_ conditioner! You can seriously never get this stuff out once it got to like, the one fourth mark. Raito shook the black bottle hard, trying to coax the substance out. Again and again he tried, shaking it up and down over and over. The dull rattle of the chain was barely a distraction from his task.

"Raito-kun, please. I do not mind if you masturbate, but really, you should use the hand that isn't chained to me."

Raito froze. He turned towards L, who he had previously had his back to. He looked down at the conditioner. It was down by his stomach. He grimaced.

"L, that is no where _near_ what I was doing!"

He pressed the conditioner up against the glass.

"See, I was trying to get the conditioner out!" L smirked and let out a chuckle. Who would've thought that Raito could be humiliated so easily?

"That is what everyone says, Raito-kun. It is always the conditioner's fault. I feel bad for it."

A growl was heard, and L was unsure whether or not Light would burst through the glass and strangle him right now. Maybe he would simply drown him in the toilet? Perhaps he would simply be bludgeoned to death with a shampoo bottle?

"Shut up and give me your conditioner." L smiled, hanging his hand, along with the requested bottle, of the lip of their opaque barrier. He felt the package be ripped from his hands with great haste. He chuckled again.

"Hm, L I didn't see you as a sort of herbal essences kind of guy." Instantly, a picture of L swishing his wet hair about him in ecstasy filled Raito's head.

"_Oooh, AH!"_

"I easily saw you as being the trésemmé king of person."

L saw Raito flipping his perfectly styled hair around, smiling at his mind's camera in a sultry sort of way while water poured down on him from above.

"_Tresemme. Tresemme, ooh la la!"_

Raito slapped himself in the forehead first.

Quickly followed by L.

They didn't need to explain their thoughts to each other.

They already knew.

And silently agreed to ignore it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hookay! This chapter was much funnier than the last one, and I hope you all enjoyed both! I'm actually out of ideas now, so if anyone has suggestions they'd like to toss at me, feel free!


	5. Light's iPod

Whoot! iPod shenanigans, take two!

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Light pushed L out of the way.

"No way am I letting your iPod anywhere near speakers ever again." L simply gave him a wry smile as a red iPod was connected to his impressive sound system.

"I assume your taste in music is better?" Light simply nodded his auburn hair as he stripped off hi shirt. Once they were both settled into their respective stalls, the play button was pressed on the same white remote from their previous endeavor.

Sharp, quick notes were struck. A harsh guitar opening, followed by powerful chords and the passion of a double bass.

"_I'll be hiding in the shadows, I'll be waiting in the dark to drive this blade straight through your heart!" _

A smirk was passed through opaque glass. Oh, Light's secret wishes. However, setting his iPod on random might have been a bad idea. This song was rather incriminating.

_I'll drag your body to the car, as blood races down my arm, and every one will wonder where you are!"_

Ok, so more than a little incriminating. Brown eyes are cast over towards the splotch of black bathing next to him. L was slowly massaging shampoo into his hair, listening intently. Hmm, yes, this was a bad idea.

"_I'll hide you in my walls. your body will never be found. I'll wear your skin as a suit, pretend to be you, your friends will like you more than they used to."_

Light nearly gasped. L's baritone voice…. Was singing along.

"You…. Like From First to Last?"

"Yes, actually. They are a nice stress relief. Listening to rather violent music helps me keep my temper in check."

"_Dear diary my teen angst bullshit has a body count. I believe it's 6, going on 7 now…"_

Light smiled. So, L did have a big temper like he did. They got into fights, so it was fairly obvious, but it was hard to imagine what life would be like if L didn't have this kind of release.

"_I've been dreaming about you in a pool of your own blood, with your eyes gouged out by the work of my thumbs. The scent of your insides from under the floorboards, the perfect perfume for settling a score."_

They finished out the song together, Light's voice taking on a slightly higher pitch to accommodate the tone of the singer. L stayed with his monotonous bass.

Light didn't have much luck with the next song.

A sudden chord was struck, cuing in the drums.

"_Don't say a word, don't be grateful if I ever made you laugh. Let's make believe what's at stake here's more than just your reputation. She's got the photos but no recollection…" _

He swallowed. This song was veeeeeeeeery much like his current situation. _  
_

He was absolutely sure that by the end of this shower session, he would be 15 percent closer to being Kira.

"_Turn away your head. What do I deserve, what do I deserve instead? It's a surprise you haven't caught on yet. It's nothing personal, you're an embarrassment! Don't cut me out."_

L was now looking directly at his roommate through the glass. Light was ready for the accusations to come spewing out, the percentages to go up and up, but instead, a voice around four octaves lower came out.

"_We're offering nothing but the best accommodations, just tell us who you are. Just tell us who you are." _

The smirk was visible. Yes, L was relating this to them. Light sang the reprise, an octave higher than L. He was more of a tenor than a bass. The line works both ways, he supposed. L's fantastic amount of money offering excellent living conditions while trying to reveal Kira, and Light's humoring of L's security in exchange for…. Well, it'd be nice to know his real name. It'd be nice to know _him_ better. Not the character L, but the actor.

The song finished. Both boys were lost in thought about hidden messages in the songs. Light's eyes widened though when a gentle tune drifted through the steamy air. He _loved_ this song. So what if he had a hopeless romantic side?

"_Love of mine, someday you will die, but I'll be close behind. I'll follow you into the dark. No blinding lights, or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of the spark." _

L was now rubbing conditioner into his hair. He paused at the sudden change in musical genres. It was rather strange, he never imagined Light to have anything other than crazy violent music in his reservoir.

"_If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs. If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, I'll follow you into the dark."_

Well now, that was rather depressing. He looked over to Light. He was standing still, slowly lathering his body in body wash. He seemed….somber. Like he wanted to have someone to sing this to. Well, L had felt the same way yesterday with Samson. They both were apparently lonely. At least to a degree.

"_You and me, we've seen everything to see, from Bangkok to Calgary, and the soles of our shoes are all worn down. The time for sleep is now, it's nothing to cry about because we'll hold each other soon in the darkest of rooms…"_

As the song finished, they were both left in a pregnant silence.

L wanted to ask him the significance of the song.

Light wanted to ask L to sing with him next time._  
_

Neither question came.

Because Light's iPod decided to betray him in the worst way.

A happy synthesizer came through the speakers and teddy bear eyes widened

"Oh…. Hell…"

"_I made it through the wilderness! You know I made it throuuuuuUUUUUuuugh! Didn't know how lost I was until I found you!"_

Light found himself once again jumping out of the shower naked to stop the havoc that was being wrecked upon his dignity. Covered in bubbles, he ripped his iPod from it's place.

"We're seriously never going to have music in the shower ever again."

"But Raito-kun, I was hoping you'd have more music I knew. Personally, I find Madonna to be hilarious. _Like a virgin, hey! Touched for the very first-"_

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" L was now stepping out of the shower, pants on, smirking. He knew how badly Light was embarrassed, and he loved it. Also, he would be more humiliated when he would realize he's still naked.

In 3, 2, 1.… Light ran back into his stall with an infuriated yell.

"Well, I could sing something more to your taste. _The last time that I saw you, August of '99, I should have had my hammer and a few rusty spikes to nail you on a wall and use bottles to catch your blood, display you for the neighbors so they know your time has come! _Hmm, I've just realized that the entire first verse is a run on sentence." His companion stepped back out, now presentable, but still a nice shade of red.

"I'm sure that that was the thing they were trying to divert your attention to."

"Much like how since you are often naked in front of me, you are obviously trying to divert my attention to something?" A towel came at his face.

"_WHY DON'T YOU DIE AND FALL INTO A DUMPSTER?! I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH I REALLY HATED YOU!"_

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That was a little dull, wasn't it? Sorry about that! I just really wanted Light's iPod too, because I find a lot of songs that can be related to the series. Also, The Used "It's hard to say" is very neat to think of from Light's POV.

Anyway, list of songs used: From First To Last's "Ride the Wings of Pestilence", Circa Survive's "Holding Someone's Hair Back", Deathcab for Cutie's "I'll Follow You Into the Dark", and Madonna's "Like a Virgin".

L's nice paragraph of violence at the end is Save the Day's "As Your Ghost Takes Flight", and Light's last quote was from a local sca band from a while ago named No Regrets, I'm not sure what the song was called.

They were a local band, so they broke up after a bit, like all local bands in NJ. Except for My Chemical Romance anyway. I'm going to a concert of theirs at the Electric factory in Philly this month! WHOOT! Been a fan for over six years now, and I haven't managed to go to single one of their concerts -.- Wish me luck!

And also, if you love me, leave a review! Thanks!


End file.
